Kristian Giovanni
Kristian Giovanni—May 31st, 2018 4:57 PM
I know I didn’t do it. But do the others know? Do they believe me? I don’t think they do. It’s ruined my career, my relationship with my friends and family, and it cost me my fiancé. She won’t even return my calls. And she mailed her engagement ring back to me with a note that read “I can’t love a criminal”. Even after the trial—even after it was ruled that I was not guilty—my entire support system left me.
And if they do believe me, believe that I didn’t do it, then they care more about their images than about me. I’d like to believe I didn’t surround myself with that type of person, but nobody bailed me out, or even attended my trial. I am alone in Pangea. Nobody wants to be seen with someone who was put on trial for assault with a deadly weapon. Especially when the real culprit was still out there. The victim had barely survived. They showed me pictures when they were interrogating me… It was horrendous…
Sometimes it feels as if Pangea has become a spoiled paradise. It used to be my favorite place, my safe haven. But now it seems it’s gone the way of everything when I am awake. I feel like I’m surfing on an avalanche using a toothpick. Everything is going downhill, fast, and if I don’t stay upright, I will be buried.
I’m not even sure why I became a suspect. I was in vague proximity to the crime scene earlier in the day, but not at the time that the assault was committed. I didn’t own anything close to the weapon used, nor would I know where to get one. I don’t even match the victim’s description of the perpetrator. All they had were some fingerprints on a trashcan that probably belonged to me and the guy at the little family owned store that knew I sometimes traveled in that direction around the time the crime was committed. Thanks to that guy, I may never get my dream life back.
The only people that have shown me sympathy are my best friend, Rebecca, and my mother. And even then I catch them taking steps away from me if they feel I get too close. Not that they keep in contact the same way they used to. Rebecca and I (and my now-ex fiancé) used to hang out pretty much every day. I’ve seen her twice in the three months since the trial, and both times she wanted to meet in a public place so I didn’t feel I could talk about it. My mother now calls me biweekly instead of daily, and they’re very short conversations, and the one time she came over, she had someone waiting in the car for her. She didn’t hug me goodbye, and that’s maybe what hurts the most.
If that’s the case with two of the three closest people in my life, you can just imagine how much worse it is with everyone else. I might move somewhere secluded to get away from the stares.
